1st Test - Day 4

1st Test, Day 4 - Cardiff

All round good guy Ricky Ponting this day resigned himself and his team to sit in the sheds after his conscience would not allow him to play a style of cricket befitting England…getting out. King Ricky decided it best to allow the English bowlers a chance to score 100’s as well, which they all happily achieved. King Ricky said this decision was to give the English bowlers personal freedom previously denied them to attack the highest score the King posted the previous day. Your Director acknowledges that he really is a King for all people.

Again Andy Flower has defended himself and the English coaching staff. He said that in most sessions over the last two days his charges lead all the major statistics including runs scored against, least wickets taken, wide of the wicket shy’s, overthrows and non-spin of the ball. Whilst some ignorant people point at the scoreboard Andy also mentioned something about a new, young side rebuilding & not his fault et al. Your Director explained to Andy that when a Qantas plane’s wings fall off but the air conditioning and in-flight service continue, the passengers still have an unresolved issue.

The wicket has lived up to all the hype and played true to form…wretched! Pleb Strauss state he was disgusted as this wasn’t what he planned, discussed, agreed to and paid for over dinner some two months ago.


Your Direktor has observed that the one thing shared by all the curators in England is that they have no friends.

Your Director has received numerous comments from his English bretheren requesting Murugan, God of weather patterns, to start dancing in the streets of Cardiff. This was noted as a typical English plan of attack…”hope for rain and don’t attempt to win”.

Should Australia bowl England out in the final 4 sessions of this Test, or the heavens do decide to save England and open up, punters can all look forward to the 2nd Test at Lords where England hasn’t won an Ashes Test since 1934. Your Director is also looking forward to seeing the Poms in the field again for a goodly period of time and notes it’s better than watching a sneering, surly, insolent “me, me, me” Pietersen at the crease.

Day 4 - Highlights

Australia decided to lose just one wicket all day whilst England decided not to

English bowlers relished in the runs feast

Australia has uncovered another batting genius in North

Doctrove finally squared the ledger from that dismal Pietersen decision

Cook decided to sit this Test out and do nothing