1st Test - Day 2

Day 2 – Ashes

Lifeless wicket still
Lifeless crowd still
Better umpiring although Doctrove has clearly taken lessons from his West Indian compatriate
Little Welsh talent today
Too much camera coverage of that pittiful ex-England captain


The Poms can sing Delilah to their hearts content … Swan is STILL not a spinners arsehole!!!
For all the verbal diarohea the parochial commentary has gushed forth regarding Hauritz’s inept spin ability (he’s the ONLY bowler to have spun the ball and gotten wickets), the English are at sixes and sevens to remedy a steadfast Aussie batting line up. If I was Swan, I’d decide to change to left-arm Chinaman because he’s getting no turn whatsoever and in no way is befuddling the Aussie batsmen!!! (Ponting, please have my baby!) In fact, Swan’s Mother does better turning a trick on a cold night in Swansea.

Monty, bless his soul, is still as useless as tits on a bull. He’s still seeking assurance and acceptance from a team of individuals, who no more want him on their team as wanting your smelly mate turn up to your first threesome in college with two horny Czech exchange students. Hmmmmmmmm…..Czech women :)

The only joy about today’s play, apart from the sensible, structured batting from the Australian team … and Freddie … is the fact that the ‘one-eyed’ English commentary (Hussein, Gower & Beefy (read Twat)) has progressively become more quiet as the day rolled on. Thank God for a West Indian legend filling the gap and adding some sensible discourse through clouds of splifter smoke. Where’s Richie when you need him?!?

Turning to Day 3…I see much of the same with an India-like pitch (worthless) lending itself to loads and loads and loads of runs. I do hope the English team use the sunscreen their Mum’s put in their ‘coffins’ because I think they’ll be out there for a goodly time to come…as long as the bloody Welsh summer kick’s in of course. I have heard, however, that the ground shops are selling Monty skull skins to keep the sun off their delicate English noggins. Maybe we’ll see a whole team of Monty’s? Oh hang on………

Bless em! Doncha just wanna hug an Englishman and say…”it’ll be ok”. J