I canceled a dinner and a house party tonight to ensure I stayed home glued to the rivetting Ashes Test series. Sooooooooo, rivetting! I've actually ordered an eight ball of cocaine from a mate of mine in Thailand as this series is really beginning to become a complete dose of Xanax, which I've already swallowed. I'm actually typing on 4 screens as I #@*$ $()#()
Australia came out on the field this morning for their warm-up brimming with confidence. Unfortunately, that confidence turns out to be the fact they get lunch packs delivered to their dressing rooms and they can each swap stuff with each other. Bless em! Kitten Hughes was most chuffed dancing between kit coffins and singing a merry rainy tune. Bless him!
England and their supporters decided that given they couldn't watch the cricket today they would act like any other typical English sports fan, remove their clothes and club ties and riot through the city of Birmingham, raping, pillaging and stealing. The Birmingham City Council reported it was the quietest night since 1993's bombing of Old Compton Road in London.
What?
Good luck mortals. Remember, your wife is the living evil sent down from the alien Mother Ship. Stand up for yourselves!!!
Let's play 5050 for the last 2 days. Wheeeeeee...........
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