4th test - Day 1

Strauss - out (twice)
Cook - out (none)
Bopara - out (none) - I'm sorry, is he really a cricketer or a cook from Essex?
Bell - out (none)
Prior - out (none)
Swann - out (none)
Broad - out (none)
Anderson - out (none)
GBH - out (none)
Onions - out (none)

Or, 3, 8, 30, 0, 1, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0.................which is kind of how I was trying to teach my neighbours' 4 year old to count to yesterday. He can only count to 31!!! Go figure...

By the way, that was the driest bunch of 'nones' I've seen since I toured the Vatican in 2006. Woof! It's also the quietest I've heard Beefy since Australia lost to India last year where he waxed lyrical, verbally and in print, that England would beat the the Ozzies easily. Beefy, you're a complete and absolute TWAT!!!!!!

The ECB decided today to bat the upper Milton Keynes 1st XI scone baking team to take on the Australians since England had already won one game out of three and therefore decided that was the best they could muster in 4 years of cricket against Australia (1 win in the last 9).

In addition, England decided that they should just rest on their laurels for this Test and hope for the best. Your Direktor would like to point out to the ladies of MK (read: England 1st XI) that having Flintoff and Pietersen out of the team doesn't preclude the fact that one shouldn't have to place one's head in one's pocket and go "peak-a-boo" ... coz there's about 30 TV camera's placed around the ground that will pick up every single grimace imaginable.

The decision to pick Grievous Bodily "Harmison" was clearly a step back in time, in your Direktors opinion. The ECB should always look forward, not backwards and their choice to play the ageing 'has been' may just come back and bite them in the proverbial. His slow, medium, average, crap pastey away swing is likely to get NO ONE out, very quickly! (sic).

Has anyone told the Poms that that was only the 1st day of play and Test match cricket is a FIVE DAY event?!?!?!?!?!?

The umpires, again, failed the viewing public with decisions of LBW directly in front (Strauss) and around the wicket (Hussey). Come on!!! If a bowler is bowling, right-arm around, and he's swinging it a mile into a left hander...it's NOT OUT!!! For @#*s sake! It's going down leg. It doesn't matter what 'Hawkeye' says...the ball from around the wicket is ALWAYS going down leg if it's straight. FUCKING WAKE UMPIRE! YOU'RE NOT Rudi-fucking-Koertzen!!

Long way to go, but looking ominous for the 'Pastey Pimply ones". Ozstralia looking for a middle order spell of at least a 300 run lead going into the 2nd/3rd day so long as they can hold their end and not be pathetically stupid...which is something they like doing, very, very much! It's times like this when your Direktor would like to see the batting line up, after 4 down of:
S. Waugh
M. Waugh
M. Clarke
A. Gilchrist
S. Warne,
et al...
Ouch!!!

Now we have, North and Clarke, with Haddin to follow and then Johnson. Hmmmmmmm....I'm actually okay with that. Thanks for pointing that out Direktor.

You're welcome :)

Good luck Limey's!!!