4th Test - Preview

The Poms all live in a leaky submarine, a leaky submarine, a leaky submarine...They all live in a leaky submarine, a leaky submarine, a leaky submarine

They always play for a draw
Till they stumbled upon a dream
And now their team is breaking down
In their leaky submarine

The Poms all live in a leaky submarine, a leaky submarine, a leaky submarine...They all live in a leaky submarine, a leaky submarine, a leaky submarine

Aussies live a life of ease
Everyone of us has all we need
Sky of blue and pitch of green
Players all, brilliant indeed

The Poms all live in a leaky submarine, a leaky submarine, a leaky submarine
They all live in a leaky submarine, a leaky submarine, a leaky submarine


Yes, the English are falling apart at the seams mirroring the events of 2005 when McGrath was sadly ripped from the team having rolled an ankle on a deliberately placed ball by an opponent during the warm up session. This led to Australia's demise, 2-1, which, as we all know, was quite easily accounted for in 2007...5-zip!

Your Direktor has been informed that The Flower has brought in yet another African to play for England should The Quitter not be able to hobble out to take his place in the starting XI. That brings to 4 the total of African's playing/coaching for the English team at present. It's becoming more like Arsene Wenger's (English) football squad. Pity!

With news this week coming out of Oxford University stating that England was more egalitarian than Australia and therefore British men ranked #1 as 'best husbands' for their domesticity in the household (Australia ranked last, due to their like of beer and the great outdoors), your Direktor thinks that maybe it's time that the Poms should just stay home with a nice cup of tea and let the big boys play the mans game. Bless em!

Bill Clinton orchestrated a humanitarian mission to Pyongyang this week to release two U.S. journalists (read: spies) from captivity and setting them free from hard labour and dancing in the streets with large colourful ribbons. As this was going on, Hillary Clinton was in Africa scouting for players for the English cricket team and attempting to set free any citizens who had any blood ties with any Englishman in history....ever! She found one in Trott, who is DNA-linked with a 380 year old bat that once lived in a cave in Dover. Good enough for the ECB, good enough for me.

Big Test this week....BIG! Everything is on the line in what will be the best Test played in the last 4 years. Guaranteed. Look out for loads of runs and loads of spin. Also look out for Clark tearing the Poms a new one :)